Sporadic and incomplete. Like this text.
I've been looking at this page, and the previous one for some time, wondering if I could ever bring myself to even work on them again. It's been difficult for some reason or another. So here it is.
So much has happened, and I owe a huge explanation.
A lot has happened. Life happened, as it does. My living situation turned into a disaster, twice. I took another unannounced break, which I've had a lot of time for reflection in my haitus. During that time I tried to keep up with the forums and maintain friendships, but I find myself falling out of the social thing a lot. I've been selfish in my emotions, and pretty much going hermit in everything I do. It's terrible.
So yeah that's what they call depression. I found out a lot about myself, and shortly after that there was a huge drop in writing and drawing productivity. It took some time to admit, but I realized that I've been dealing with the same depressing issue for many years, and it finally came to a boiling point late last year, earlier this year after several rough times in rapid succession. I had an epiphany within the past month and a half when I was finally exposed to what a real family can be like. It's taken me this long to finally realize it all.
I had been writing something that in all honesty didn't represent my experiences. The characters and their relationships aren't what I liked. I thought about a rewrite. Yet another do over, and the thought of that sickened me as well. So I'm stuck on what to do. I'll let you know the next time I update..
To fans and everyone, I owe you an apology. For alienating people and for just stopping (once again) on this comic, this wonderfully fun thing I've spent so much of my life creating. For falling thru on so many plans. For falling short of expectation.
In many ways the characters and stories were a part of me and didn't want to admit it. After a while I let that get way from me. I created my greatest stuff when I drew for myself. (Ruler of the World based things, and the lore of my own world) So I'm going to go for that again. I'm going to draw for myself. I let myself be dictated too much by the whims of others, and while it's like an epic D&D game, somehow my muse has issue. So I apologize for that. Please forgive me if I get the background characters wrong, I'm sorry if I don't reference a guest character right. I'm going to just draw what I think looks cool and go from there..
These are things I fret about. It may be something I shouldn't, but it is, and so I have to stop doing that.
So here's a page. Progress of some kind, incomplete as it is.
This isn't an announcement of "I'm back", I've broken too many promises for such a thing. It's just a note saying I"m still here. Life happened. I'm sorry for letting anyone down. This is a sign that I'm here, and hope to continue to do my own thing.
To the fans of this comic: Thank you for being there. Thanks for checking back, thank you for reading, thank you for showing any form of appreciation for this project I started so long ago and kept on a tiny corner of the internet.
There is more to address, that's for certain, but I've been away so long that I've honestly had to re-sort my life. There has been a decent amount of stress that in some ways I feel has taken it's toll on my health. But I will keep on keeping on. Once again, thank you.